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Short Story

Journey to Thy Golden Mustache!

By POPSTAR URF

Short Story was originally posted on the official League of Legends site. The site page has been purged later on.

Lore

Braum OriginalCircle
Welcome to Braum’s Game Night, friends! Tonight, we play Castles and Cows: Journey to Thy Golden Mustache!
Varus OriginalCircle
This sounds like something you literally just made up.
Braum OriginalCircle
What? Of course not. I learned this tabletop role-playing game from...uh… my mother….Enough talk! Now we create our characters.
Gragas OriginalCircle
I want to be an archer who was cursed by an ancient evil monster thing!
Varus OriginalCircle
That’s...but you can’t….Braum, help me out here.
Braum OriginalCircle
Let the puny purple man have his bows. You can be a traveling cleric who raises his hands to the sky and treats the sun with respect.
Gragas GragasCaskbreakerCircle
Can I get drunk?
Braum OriginalCircle
Uh….sure!
Ryze OriginalCircle
I will be a wizard with great power, carrying with me an enchanted tome and a magical scroll.
Varus VarusSwiftboltCircle
You just described yourself.
Ryze RyzeWhitebeardCircle
Wrong. My beard, it will be...WHITE!
Braum BraumLionheartCircle
And I will be the strongest, bravest knight in all the land. People will love me and I will have infinity friends and all the princesses will be like: “Ohhh Braum Lionheart, you’re so brave and handsome. Take me to the royal dance.” But I’ll be like: “Princesses please, I serve the weak and defenseless. I have no time for royal dances.”
Varus VarusSwiftboltCircle
...Uh,what just happened there?
Ryze RyzeWhitebeardCircle
Braum, I’m starting to think you made this game up too.
Braum BraumLionheartCircle
….*Rolls dice*....Oh look at that! A giant dragon is attacking a nearby village. We should stop talking about everything else and go deal with that. Like, now.
Gragas GragasCaskbreakerCircle
I’m… I’m coming for you…. you big stupid... dragon! *passes out*

References

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