Catalogues I[]
This sheet is written in tight, perfect script. It is not signed.
This documentation equally serves presumptive consumers and aspiring librarians. I have devised a system for the storage of the myriad writings, tablets, artifacts, portraits, trinkets, and accoutrements stored within this library. This system currently has no name. I recognize one will be required in time.
However, one is not required to adhere to this system. I have designed it such that any child would find it trivial to follow. It is my pleasure to direct you to the reverse of this sheet, where you will discover the key both to navigating and to maintaining our sanctum of knowledge.
In fewer words: Wheresoever you find something, you shall return it.
The back of the sheet is covered, edge-to-edge, with an intricate legend which sorts books and objects by no fewer than twenty-seven adjectival categories, each again subcategorized. It is indeed perfect.
Catalogues II[]
This sheet is written in tight, perfect script, though ink blots in places, as if the pen were jammed into the paper. It is not signed.
I acknowledge that, given the size of this library and the breadth of the writings, tablets, artifacts, portraits, trinkets, and accoutrements contained herein, it takes some measure of time to navigate the establishment and return items to their rightful place.
However, any reasoning being must in turn acknowledge that, given the size of this library and the breadth of the writings, tablets, artifacts, portraits, trinkets, and accoutrements contained herein, it is of critical, unparalleled importance to ensure that all items are logged, accounted for, and, above all, discoverable.
It is beneath reader and writer both to bring this matter to the personal, but I must point firmly to the many years spent designing this system.
I repeat: Wheresoever you find something, you shall return it.
Catalogues III[]
This sheet is written in tight, perfect script, though several words seem nearly carved into the paper. It is not signed.
I am by no means accusing any singular presumptive consumer or diligent librarian of callous disregard for the purpose of this establishment, or the sanctity of our work and the organization of our work. No—to so fail such an ideal is a mark not against the individual, but all humanity.
However, I am loath to point out—be it to my superiors, presumptive consumers, or diligent librarians—that this infringement marks the thirty-seventh besmirchment of our sanctum’s cataloguing system.
Had I the means, I would put any such negligent party to the pins, that pain might teach them those lessons which prudence, reason, social justice, common decency, and parental love appears to have eluded entirely.
And so I repeat but once more: Wheresoever you find something, you shall return it.
