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Ziggs Bombs A Tribute.jpg
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Zaun Crest icon.png

Short Story

Bombs: A Tribute

By Abigail Harvey

Okay, Zaun. I’m here, I’m fuzzy, and I’m ready to explode stuff.

Lore

Okay, Zaun Crest icon.png Zaun. I’m here, I’m fuzzy, and I’m ready to explode stuff.

All that time up there in Piltover Crest icon.png Piltover serving high-quality pyrotechnics to ungrateful snoots, Heimerdinger Heimerdinger making me hide behind that dumb glamour, never allowed to do what I want... It’s left me with a thirst for KA-BOOM!

But was Jinx Jinx right? Is the gloomy, stinking undercity teeming with whizz-bang potential?

Let’s see what we’ve got here. What am I looking at? Nondescript building, nondescript building, slightly bigger nondescript building, an explosives factory, another nondescript building, nondes—WAIT, WHAT?

Explosives factory?! Dreams can come true!

I’m not crying. That’s just the Zaun Gray gettin’ all up in my eyes.

Man, the things they must have in there... But it looks so normal. Dull, even. No flashing lights, no sparkling signs... just a rundown pile of bricks and ironwork. It’s like no one even cares how bombs are made. And it’s quiet... GASP! They must have it soundproofed because of all the live bomb testing! I’ve gotta get in there! Ooh, I bet there’s a super secret passageway or maybe you have to blow the front wall off or—

Oh, wait, there’s the door.

Hang on, what’s this?

BUILDING NO LONGER IN USE
KEEP OUT

You’ve gotta be kidding me! Why? How? How could this sacred place no longer be in use? How could anyone be so disrespectful of the creation of lovely explosives and shut it down forever and—what is that noise?Huh, I’m pretty sure locks aren’t supposed to be all mangled like that. Looks like this door’s been busted open. Let me poke my head around...

I appear to be looking at a pair of disgruntled young humans. Not bombs. Humans. In an empty room. I may be losing interest. They haven’t seen me, at least.

“This sucks,” one of them says. He looks as disappointed as I feel. “You said this place was full of bombs. Well, we’ve searched every corner, and there’s nothing here!”

Stop it now, kid. This hurts.

The other one kicks over an empty crate. “How was I supposed to know they cleared it out?!”

Did neither of them read the sign? I swear, humans never look—“Whatever,” the first one sighs. Whoa. I wasn’t done thinking my thought. Rude. “I’m bored. Let’s go.”

Not before me—I’m not ready to have my fur ruffled today. See ya, kids!

Man, I can’t believe this. My first venture out in the undercity and I find a bomb factory! Entirely committed to making bombs! That could’ve been home. But no, instead it was the home of shattered dreams.

I’ve gotta do something about this. Yeah. Yes. That’s it. It’s the right thing to do. It’s what it was made for...

I’M GONNA FILL THAT PLACE WITH BOMBS!

Oh, hey! Welcome to my lab. Well, Jinx’s lab. She’s letting me crash here while I find my feet in Zaun. She thinks I only exist in her head, so I guess I’m not taking up too much room. Besides, with all her scrap heaps and bits of junk everywhere, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only thing with fur running around this place.

What, these? Just some hexplosives I’m working on. My own design, of course.

These bad boys are gonna give that old factory the send-off it deserves. Let it go out with some dignity.

I can’t leave it as I found it earlier, waiting for another innocent incendiary enthusiast to come along, get them all excited, and then rip their heart right out without so much as a spark. It was a real emotional rollercoaster.

No, I’ll spruce the place up with my own devices, and then they’re gonna go off one after the other like little fireworks. Flash! Bang! Tssss! Flash! Bang! Tssss! Over and over until the whole place crumbles down in a huge explodey mess.

I call them “Chain Smokers”.

Almost done. I just take this bit here, and this thing here, and... Perfection.

Let’s go blow stuff up!

Okay, I’m back in the building. Come on, “KEEP OUT” sign, you had one job.

My little Chain Smokers are all laid out, ready to show their papa what they can do.

But Ziggs, I hear you say, how are you going to appreciate the products of all your talents if you can’t see them in action? My thoughts exactly. So I’ve got an extra treat for us all: I’m gonna blow the front wall off first!

This big one here’s the Party Popper, and it’s going to create the ultimate peephole!

Alrighty, time to push the button! Three... two... one... Big baddaboom!

...in sixty seconds.

What? I’ve gotta get out of here first—I don’t want to blow myself up!

Come on, come on, come on, I’m ready now! Got this nice pile of junk to hide behind. Perfect viewing distance. And... explode!

Nope. Forty seconds left. Turns out crossing the street doesn’t take that long.

Hey, why did the yordle cross—Oh no, what’re those kids doing back here?! They’re gonna get themselves a faceful of wall if they don’t move soon. Move. Move!

They’re not moving. They’re spray painting the wall. For the love of...

“Hey!” I call from behind the junkpile. “You kids! Get away from there!”

Yeah, that got their attention. A real Ziggs, out in the wild. They’re still standing there, though.

“What? You never seen a yordle before? Seriously, though, you need to move! You’re gonna get hurt!”

Are they...? They are! They’re laughing at me! Well, maybe I’ll just leave them to get exploded, after all! Jinx sure would.

Ohhhhhh, right. Jinx is a psychopath.

Ah! Ten seconds!

And I’m running. I’m running straight at those little sump-punks. Better to be tackled by a yordle than crushed by a building. That’s what I always say.

They’re not laughing anymore. The bigger one’s opening its mouth. “What’re you do—”

“No time! Move!”

BOOM!

We hit the other side of the street just as the wall goes up.

Yes! Bombs away!

Flash! Bang! Tssss! Flash! Bang! Tssss!

It’s mesmerising. Little lightning bolts striking every surface. Bricks tumbling down. Smoke pouring out, clouding all the locals who’ve come out to watch.

Flash! Bang! Tssss!

Wait, why are all these people staring at me instead of my art?

Flash! Bang! Tssss!

The roof is now completely caved in. It’s magical. No, I told you before, it’s the Gray! I’m not crying.

Flash! Bang! Tssss! Flash! Bang! Tsssssssss.

Haha! Yes! I can’t help it. I’m doing my happy dance. That was perfect!

Those two kids are looking at me like I just slapped their grandmother. I guess Zaunites are more used to collapsing buildings than gleeful furballs.

Whatever. I’m going in for a closer look.

My Chain Smokers performed just as they should; what was once a solid structure is now a blackened heap of rubble. That useless “KEEP OUT” sign is poking out from under a smashed roof tile. I’m gonna pick it up, a little souvenir for the lab.

Flash! Bang!

Gah! One of those sneaky little hexplosives waited for me to have a front-row seat. I think I’m on fire but—

Wheeeeeee!

—I’m flying through the air—

“Aaaaahahahahahaaaa!”

—trailing smoke—

“Oh, it burns! And tickles! But mostly burns! Hahahahahaha!”

—and all eyes are on this furry rocket.

“See, kids? Now that’s how you make bombs!”

References

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