User blog comment:ViciousWombat/Phobos/@comment-3391671-20170118223125/@comment-3391671-20170126225128

Phobos is looking better, especially with how you have wrung the lore and kit into something more focused than it was before. What improvement.

Before moving on, when sourcing champion, use the ci template. You use the ci template with the following: " " creates, while "  " creates. Your current reply is a bit messy because of the ill-templating.

Starting with the kit, they do seem to look like the bruiser you say you've made him to be. It better suits his title and his lore. Some items are questionable, but when comparing them to the old kit, this kit is appeasing.

Stat-wise, the nerf to attack speed is good, as it would also make any bonus attack speed more impactful, especially when applied by his abilities. It would support the idea that he becomes enraged in those moments. The same can be applied to the MS. And as of current, there is no complaint about stats, since those are numbers, and they can be moved around; as long as they represent how well each stat is supposed to perform (is the health supposed to start high but scale low, or is it going to start low but scale high), all is alright.

Not that all religious fanatics need to have magic powers, but as you saw, if there is anything supernatural occurring, should be somewhere there. Without it, there would be no reason to differ Phobos as a raging believer from a barbaric warrior (unless you are ... where your rage is somehow fulled by magical knowledge (why would he even read a !?).

Abilities

 * Innate: For whatever reason, people saw the lack of as a means to make a champion unique. In truth, some people were already doing it before, but then... many more put it in, some intuitively, and others "just because." I do not wish to look down upon those who did it, but when there is much too many concepts with the same limitations... it gets old real fast, especially if that is the kit's only redeeming feature.
 * The idea of a three-hit passive does give a nice image for Phobos, as it would be inline with how he warms-up before submitting to his rage. I would change the application though to be than three strikes on the same one. As much as I would like him to go rampant by triggering it multiple times in a short amount of time, in theme, it actually doesn't make sense for someone who's become narrow-minded (or tunnel-visioned) to have benefits from hitting different enemies. Instead, this state should have a cooldown, and a cooldown reduction/reset of some kind to remedy and initiate this theme.
 * If you need an example/layout for what advice I offer, just let me know.
 * I for sure do not mind readding the attack speed lost in his stats with those in his abilities. Just make sure though that they are unique applications and are more intuitive than passive. For example, a champion is more exciting (and rewarding) if the activation of a buff are different than a simple E-W-R combo. Thus, from a quick skim, the passive and R buffs look good & rewarding.
 * My worries were in both theme and power. Looking at the new Q, it looks better in both departments.
 * The idea of two delayed cleaves is a nice touch. I don't know about, but I see what you are trying to do with this ability.
 * This ability does reward Phobos for sticking to his enemies, which is part of his theme as a bone-rushing believer. However, I believe there are a few things that can be done to make this better. On top of that, as much as item synergy is important for a champion, I wouldn't focus on it too much (unless you need to avoid making a champion too OP if they had a certain item).
 * What I would like to point out is that the ability would be nice if those delays were reduced by . It would produce synergy with his passive/ult. If you believe it would create too much power, then the reduction to delay can have.
 * I would make the first attack weaker than the second, since it feels like the first is Phobos’s warning strike, followed by his second. To also add, if Phobos is not supposed to be allowed to auto attack during this ability, it should be mentioned.
 * Last but not least, widen that cone, as I imagine this is one hefty strike. 50o is rather small. If you don't want it to be too large, just shorten that range a bit; 300 range with 100o is more effective than 350 range with 50o.
 * This is for all abilities, but as I had said before, don't add too much flavour text. If you are not sure if you are adding too much. Think of it that each ability box should only have at most a half-sentence of it. If you want to describe how each one looks visually, or how they work thematically, then it can be added after the kit or after each ability in your own words.
 * Also, the term would be "excel," not "exceed." A bit of an English lesson, if you need.
 * Gladly you did remove the Herculean defense, but if you don't mind another critical remark, but this shield is similar to the new 's E. Instead of a shield though, the werewolf-chimera has heightened resistance. Not saying that this ability should be removed because of it, but just pointing out the similarities.
 * Some items in the descriptions can be streamlined, but one thing I would go for is to change the way the champion-proc shield would work. Rebuffing shields is not only present in 's kit but also 's kit. This causes there to already be an overlap with several champions. One way I would go with this instead is to go for a shield that rewards his offensive play. For example, if he does trigger the reshield, it will be equal to how much damage he has dealt while the shield was still up, with a maximum of the original shield's health. If you add the ability to reactivate during the shield's duration (and the on-champion being between 1-2 second depending on how long he's kept the shield on), you can allow Phobos to either use this ability as an insta- in trade of minimum defense, or reward Phobos for staying in the battle and dealing damage.
 * This would also avoid Phobos from using this as an escape tool. "Activate Unholy Protection...! And then boom, shield is up again as they are feared, woohoo!" This idea would make it so that even if the player does not build him with enough resistance, they can still attempt to use the as a mechanic, even if not strong as a tanky Phobos could use it. Plus, they would be rewarded with being able to have a maximized reshield than a tanky one.

More TBA Hidden= Items to talk about= E: Now the old ability that was here, was the spear like ability, but Phobos wants to keep "Aretha "close to him at all times like i mentioned before, so I thought a good idea would be to have him have a little bit of a mixture of a [9] Malphite E, without the cripple effect and a [10] Singed E.       The ability, allows him to also proc his passive if needed, to help clear the wave, but it has a high mana cost, for the strong like slow that it does provide. But the ability is cast at his feet, restricting him to only being able to fight in close corters, and unable to really have any ranged poke. This ability, really helps him set up his combo after using his ultimate, and that is about it, it doesn't really have a purpose besides that, and because of teh rather high mana cost, it isn't as spamable as other abilities. R: Now the only thing missing from Phobos' kit, was a semi reliable way to get to the backline to deal damage. So i gave him a low cc, medium damage ultimate, so that he could be able to get into the fights. This also allows him to get right in the enemies face, but if he doesn't time his W correctly, he isn't able to really be that useful, except auto attack and keep increasing his attack speed. The attack speed gained, is both express his revenge for Aretha's death, as well as for him to be able to kill people to join [11] Mordekaiser's ranks.

I took a look back at most of Phobos' kit and lore and tried to funnel it into a brutish diver, that tries to run into the fight with extrememly close range abilities. I changed from the long rage artillery like tank to this approach, since it didn't fit a person who wanted to beat you into believing in their god.

Lore
Now i updated the lore, and wanted to give a semi TL;DR (its not really)

Nightfall's Eve is a cult for[12] Mordekaiser

their goal is to train warriors to find the skull of Morde, and fight under Morde

Phobos is born into the cult, where his older sister exceeds expectations

Cult is in Noxus, the old fort of [13] Mordekaiser

Phobos is bad at combat, Aretha is good

Phobos is scared that Aretha, the only person who blieves in him, will leave him

She is sent on a mission from Noxus, with her own hand picked squad, and Phobos can't leave with her

He feels abondonded, and leaves the city to follow her.

Noxian elite learn of cult after Aretha leaves, sends squad to follow Phobos

Aretha takes this time, to now go searching for the skull

Sends sqaud into city to erradicate teh cult

Phobos fear of abondondment turns into resentment and anger

He finds her weeks later, and so does Noxian guard

Noxian squad attacks Aretha's squad.

Aretha left standing, Phobos runs to her, Aretha takes sword meant for Phobos

Phobos releases his rage onto soldier guy

Phobos follows the map, that Aretha said she had in her dying breathe

Goes to isles, right once Ruins King curse comes in

Phobos dies by the curse, but his fear and anger, let him possess the armour he brought for[14] Mordekaiser

Breaks the crypt holding [15] Mordekaiser's skull

Helps the liches make the ritual, He will complete the task

[16] Mordekaiser forms, become a devote follower filled with fear of failing his sister.

Works under [17] Mordekaiser as a general now to continue his sisters work. Edning Thoughts

I hope that this is a better and more solid iteration that what I had previously thrown together, and would strongly encourage as much criticsim so that I can make this champion the best that HE can be.

Lastly - How do you make the Legend that you have in your custom champions, i have 0 clue in how to do it.