User blog comment:Ralattt/Astlyr, the Battle Maiden (Work in Progress)/@comment-180.216.3.241-20130112191217

Ho boy, where to start.

So, does the passive refresh on getting a stack or does each individual stack last 5.25 (Such a strange number btw) seconds? As a general guideline, it's better to have something with less stacks that do more per stack. You are also double rewarding crits a lot throughout this champ, she already gets more fury for crits, with this she gets free damage and armor and heal for every crit she does, meaning you can rush an infinity edge and 5 phantom dancers and not be any worse for wear. Also scaling bonus AD on bonus AD gives her great returns on AD, meaning she needs less gold to start snowballing. See: Try-no-more. Also a max cap of 200 AD and 100 armor, easily achieved by level 6? That first gank out of the jungle is all or nothing, if you die or stuff up the timing, you're back to square one, which leaves the player unsatisfied, and if you do manage to land 2 hits on them under turret, it's a free kill that they can't do anything about. This is a lose-lose situation, with either the player or the gankee feeling bad. Perhaps 1/1.5/2/2.5/3 armor per stack every 2 attacks against her, with a maximum of 40 and stacks lasting 30 seconds (each stack having it's own timer). This provides a satisfying amount of armor at all levels (40 at level 1-6 is more than a full rune page, and 120 armor late game? you will definitely notice how tanky you feel).

Her Q. Again, scaling defensive stats off of offensive stats is generally pretty dangerous. Let's say it's endgame, you have 600 AD, plus a fully charged passive of 200 (Plus 15% of 500), for 875 AD. This means from your 2 passives so far, she's getting a free 100 armor and 97.5 magic resist, more than a GA would give you. It's pretty dangerous, you do as much damage as the squishiest bruiser and can tank a lot as well. Since you only have one thing scaling off of fury, why not have same base +0.5 per fury? Well, this presents it's own problems, mainly why level it at all? Pretty poor returns. Well, how about 0.2/0.4/0.6/0.8/1 MR per fury, with no base? early game, 20 MR is managable, and late game 100 is.. pretty strong tbh. As for the active, generally movespeed is worth more than crits, so you can either make the movespeed half as long (a la draven) or double the crits. 4 seconds of 30% isn't going to make anyone cry too hard. Also 5/7.5/10/12.5/15 is a nicer spread, once again encouraging leveling the skill.

Her W. 368 Free HP? Ok. Every 100 points of armor halves the physical damage taken, so along with her passive, you're 700 odd HP stronger than the adc (and hit them harder), and a similar amount for the apc. I like to think that 2 passives is enough for a champion, but with all these free defence stats you want to give her, I think you are aiming for a tanky jungler. With this in mind, I was thinking that a double edge theme would go well for her, so I would like to see this skill become a stun that also stuns you for half the duration, maybe 2/2.5/3/3.5/4 second stun while stunning her for half the duration. A 2 second stun at level 1 is pretty brutal, but stunning yourself out of position could allow others to set up on you, making the player weigh up the risks/rewards. (This also has an added benefit of making people focus you, building up stacks of battle glory nice and fast). Alternatively, given the name, perhaps you could make her literally throw her shield, reducing her armor and magic resist for a ranged stun, and you could keep the knockback.

Her E. Too high cooldown, 10% of missing health is actually not a lot, and 6 stacks of battle glory? yay, 6% of the way towards max stacks after staying in battle forever! Now that we have fury giving her magic resist, we can make the heal a fair bit beefier, because the cost actually costs you something. Also, I would move the MR passive onto this skill, and make her Q a movespeed/attackspeed/critchance steroid.

Her R. This is what your champion revolves around. The cooldown is again too long (longest cooldown in the game at level 6? ouch). I like the attack speed debuff, I think we need more of these tbh, but 7% isn't that noticable. Since it slows you as well, you can't really do anything with the stun or silence, so all of it's utility is either assisting team mates or nuking for the kill s...ecure... yes. We all know what the average player would use it for out of those two options. I'm not sure what you want to do with this. Maybe like a reverse taric ulti, enemies in an AoE around you lose a percentage of their AD, AS and AP? That'd be cool.

Anyway, I hope this has helped, good luck getting your champion into the league!