User blog comment:Chase999/Arcenciel, Heaven's Quintuplet/@comment-3391671-20170116091738

Starting a new thread since the old one was getting overly lengthy.

Problems with the first kit:
 * "He was too much of a generalist with his abilities being tied to a battle mage and a artillery mage."
 * In some ways, he was yes a generalist. I apologize for not being clear, but as you could tell, he was getting too much compensation and a lack of gaping weakness for his role/s. It's fine to mix and match, but having the kit weigh heavily to both sides could make it frustrating to deal with the champion, such as too much mobility or defensive works for a mage with lots of offensive aspects.
 * On top of this, while some champions can work as generalists, being one causes a champion to lose an iconic identity in their kit. Their theme/backstory can make up for it, but if they can do too much everything, there will be people who will complain and others who will criticize what is even the champion's central purpose (to me, is currently in this sour spot).
 * "The Innate, Passive Ult and Seraphic wings ability gave him the feel of a battle mage while his Divine Touch and hand of creation ability gave him an Artillery mage feel"
 * As mentioned before, it's alright if some parts of a champion's kit features one type of class, and others parts exemplify another, but if there is too much of both (or if they generally cover up each others' weaknesses a bit too much), that's where I would draw the line. Because Arcenciel's offensive side of his kit leaned towards an artillery mage, I felt that having too much battlemage abilities in his kit gave too much on the other end, since they are on the opposite end of the scale of each other (//). If you wanted a Battlemage, you could go for that, but his ult shouted artillery, so I assumed he was an artillery mage primary.
 * "Generalists in the game of league of legends usually have too much or too little to offer in terms of what they give examples are Kalista and Azir."
 * People also become spiteful of generalists since they are able to do a few more tricks than their more specialized comrades. is an Assassin & a Fighter, but because he has too much defensive opportunities, many people complain that he is OP. On top of that, as mentioend above, a generalized kit, unless well bound to its theme, will be much more of a disaster of identity than a specialized kit without a good theme. I like it if Assassins and ADCs get a little elbow room to avoid/take damage, and let tanks be mobile enough, but if they get too much of certain aspects, it makes people wonder "how am I supposed to take care of this guy/gal if he does something too well that is on the edges of his/her class?" Yes, Arcenciel is an angel, and I can see deflecting bullets being possible, but the omnipotent  would like to smash her target in the head directly to smash their brains out (she probably could do so easily even on, since she's supposedly close-to-omnipotent).

But enough dabble. The idea has been transmitted and I do not need to lecture on something you understand already. Let's move onto what changes you did make.


 * I did not see Arcenciel as a more-agressive-, but now that your friends says so via through you, it might be true. Rain from the Heavens was simply an active healing tool that had overall presence throughout the kit. Its AoE heal is more ideal in being a more secure healer than the likes of or . Thus the move to the innate and making the heal secondary to the damage being dealt, not a  to it.
 * Although the ability description is cluttered, you've gated Divine Touch from being an overly powerful wave-clear, more than 's and  if used correctly. I will have to ask though to clarify the new effects, since as mentioned, it's cluttered thus hard to understand the deeper notions of the ability.
 * Seraphic Wings wasn't exactly a problem ability, since if changed around and keeping to the wing theme, it would be his re-positioning tool or his sole disengage if an enemy happens to get close by. Just with the two other defensive abilities (the Revive and the Deflecting Wings), he was packed with abilities that didn't suit the Artillery Mage gameplay.
 * Even then, the new one, although in need of tweaks, instead help make Arcenciel more of an Artillery Mage, which is a-ok. Some others have introduced similar mechanics, but nonetheless, I welcome the idea.
 * But you could say, I was alright with the old Seraphic Wings, and the idea that he could blow a gust and grant himself bonus Ms with his magnificent wings...
 * For the new replacement CC, I like where it is going, although I would lower that travel speed. While it is his main escape tool, I wouldn't like it if it's so fast and hard to "dodge," especially with that range...
 * Reduced range for ult justified. Good ;3

Lore
 * I understand very well that Demacians are not literal empty souls. They definitely strive to better the people, in the name of justice. They smile and don't treat killing as a sport, instead bringing honour to its name. Nonetheless, at times, it feels like they justify their actions with Justice, and at times, that has made me rather bitter of champions such as . It's not that they are naive, but there is touch about them that makes them seem like they follow law before heart. They will still follow their heart, but at given moments, their heart seems stiff.
 * You can be happy with what you are doing and have no complaints, but does that justify one's action? In a utopia, that would be overall true, but it is always possible that there are no complaints because they are not spotted. The people who are happy are not aware of what their actions are truly inducing. This is why I've never liked the mechanic because of how it represents this resentment I have with certain lawful-good characters. They may have a good heart, but they may have been directed blind towards a goal "for the greater good."
 * As for angels, I like where you are taking them, as I mentioned before. But I believe they are still similar in that in both scenarios, the people of the nation are bound by how the society structures itself. For Demacia, you are expected to be patriotic. For the angels, you are expected to follow what path you've been order to follow. In both cases, the people could have a choice, but do not actually have the freedom. Humans may have the freedom of the heart, but from what I have seen with Demacia, that freedom is only in the heart. I'm sure not all Demacians are facing this restriction, but nonetheless, I do see champions such as being an entirely free soul.
 * Back to angels, your version of angels are thinking less about the benefit of his tasks, but more about completing the task. A common trope when trying to show a person or a group who are seen as a robotic diligent. But, you say exactly the same thing you said for Demacians: Demacians do not have any complaints because there are none ; Angels don't question their orders because there is nothing to question, their orders are from the all-knowing. Of course there is a divide that Angels would do even the unthinkable if ordered, while Demacians would have more thought to it, yet I've found it that they would both kill someone because that person has been deemed as an enemy, even if they are truly not.

I usually avoid the "unknown reason" clause. It is used at times to justify why an event occurs, but it is a very irresponsible way. This is especially the case when it's meant to justify what is usually not possible. I won't say much more, but I'm sure you can understand that I am not fond of brushing up something so important with a "unknown reason." If you need help justifying it, then please ask.

To clarify,


 * Arcenciel used to be an Angel, who then fused with a human body (for what reason?). Although human bodies cannot contain heavenly energies, this body was able to do it by . The others tried to offer him a weapon, but Arcenciel either shot an arrow too big or one that was too ineffective. Instead of being punished he was released because he has . And upon reaching the mortal realm, he still wants to fulfill his duty. He feels this ailing feeling because he is still part human; he desires to be useful. Thus, upon seeing the sniper rifle, he copies it and makes it his own.

While the backstory flows in a given direction, what it requires is a lot more explanation of critical key points of the story. I'm sure you've been summarizing here and there, but at some parts, I'm puzzled why a given event happens. For example, if an angel is released, it would be likely that the all-knowing would have stripped Arcenciel of his powers. Because of his freewill, Arcenciel would be dangerous. Of course, he's the all-knowing and would trust that Arcenciel wouldn't abuse his powers, but there's already been an instance where this all-knowing being is not. As much as you tried to cover them up, the plot holes still exist and cause the lore to be weakened.

No need to apologize for being positive. Just make sure that energy is all in moderation, or else you'll sound overly positive, and a way where I start to question the seriousness of your character. Since there is a screen between you and me, I can only infer so much. I do understand though, that you are making up for the "negative vibe" you've given upon others, but being too positive can backfire too. Just be yourself, and simply turn some of you agitated self in a more controlled and optimistic being. For now, know that you have one person here who wants to see you as yourself.

I look forward to more improvements.

Also, thank you for the information about his brothers. It makes me question the title, since "Heaven's Quintuplet" gives the impression that the other four are also heavenly beings.