User blog comment:IllYaoiSpeculation/Lily, the Stormbringer/@comment-3391671-20170115083935

Thank you Kassyndra for linking Tybloic's blog. That's definitely helpful for people not familiar with formatting. Witchking, there is no need to be overly blunt about that part.

Now, for my review.


 * Lightning mage... woohoo *monotone* I'm sorry, but my ethusiasm for the kit is not as much as you may think. I like the upbeatness, but let's admit, lighting as an aspect is not new to Valoran. Champions such as and  use electricity in their kits, while others such as  and  features bits of it in their kit. If you are going to make an actual lightning mage... it best be up in the game than simply "an original idea."
 * First point of criticism: avoid random aspects. RIOT has thus far removed as many random aspects (save for ), since randomized/chance-based effects can create some upsetting offsets, either because they do not proc often enough or too much. The current mechanics in the game that feature it tend to have something that helps balance it out, such as 's hover around an approximate, although it's randomized per unit how much is received. You've tried to argue that the randomness is justified, but in no way have you quelled the reason why randomness is undesirable. I would give you a deeper rundown, but it could be a better experience to study it up on your own. If not, just ask.
 * A bloated ability makes it hard to understand the ability. When creating abilities, to make it acceptable in length, try to make it something that can be shortened/summarized into two, three sentences. For example, even though 's innate is complex, it can be easily summarized as "Jhin's basic attacks do not benefit from bonus attack speed, and he has to fire four bullets below reloading. Instead, his damage is overall AD is increased by both critical chance/damage and bonus attack speed. His fourth shot is a guaranteed crit and critting in general grants bonus movement speed." For Lily's innate, I can only summarize it as "Lily's abilities have a chance to inflict Shock, which causes the marked champion to be dealt increased damage from Lily's abilities, especially with abilities. Hitting shocked units with abilities also grants Lily bonus movement speed and ghosts her. Randomly, or upon killing a Shocked unit, an Aftershock bolt is released to a random enemy, which..." and that's a lot.
 * TMI: This is what is called "Burden of Knowledge" and "content with no depth." For Burden of Knowledge, there is much too much to know for a player to effectively use every part of this innate. I can tell that hitting abilities and killing Shocked enemies brings the best out of her, but not know what because there is too much to know, making it rather upsetting. Randomized damage aside, the complication to know how Aftershock and Shock are applied can drive away a player from building Lily around her passive and simply go "just put  and it'll be fine." A champion should be intuitive, not something where you just smash buttons for.
 * For the "content with no depth" part, there is a lot written, but little of it is interacted directly by the player. This innate plays little in offering the player smart play, as they simply gain bonus damage without knowing how that damage is applied or calculated. League is trying to push for clear but rewarding innate, not those that has a lot of complication but no actual obvious result. The complication can look "pretty" to some, but it's not something pretty to read for those who do not know the champion in the first place.
 * already has . Also, having resistance just because no other ally is  is strong enough of a innate, especially because it causes any champion with single-target  to lose their reliable stun (,, and  to name a few).
 * Add a " " or " " before the entire description to denote if it's an active or passive. If a toggle, just add that into the space where "active/passive" is.
 * Onto the Q itself, Arc Lightning is basic. Aside from the soar bonus damage for Shocked enemies which I would reword and place the damage aspect into the right side, there is little to criticize or praise. If that range says anything, this ability is a short-ranged ability.
 * Lightning Bolt? If you do not mind me being harsh, but this is entering the bounds of bland names. You make me think of this video, and that is not a good thing.
 * With name changeable, mechanics are what you claim to be important. Lily already has damage enhancing aspects in her innate, and adding to that with Lightning Bolt is redundant. To make a creative/interesting kit, redundancy should be avoided, unless each part of the redundancy is applied differently. Example of this is with the latest rework for, where his sustain are all heals, but have different conditions and ways of appplication: his innate is conditional at under ; his Q heal is only a percentage of the damage dealth; R's heal is 100%, but doesn't feature the scaling Q has. For Lily, all her enhanced damage stack on each other with little difference...
 * This is where I also ask to try going to different names. Aside from creating unique names, the ability names in the same kit shouldn't feature the same words over and over. There are examples of it among champions, but for an intriguing custom champion, let's not have 2+ abilities have "lightning" in their name.
 * Otherwise, I can only tell that this ability summons an orb that works well with the innate. But, as I mentioned, the innate is overly complicated, causing this ability to lose its worth as an interesting ability.
 * I won't say much since I've already covered some of my complaints in previous bullet points (the name and format). What I will say is that this ability is low impact and bring little to creating an identity for Lily. already sports an AoE  around him. And while you try to make it so that this ability can be used over and over to deal consistent moments of damage, I wouldn't call this ability an ultimate due to how low impact it would be in a fight.

Overall, as much as I love the effort in the creation of this champion, much is needed in order to make this champion viable and interesting. This is also duly in part to how Lily lacks a resonating theme that gives her a concrete identity, which is important in the making of champions. To be blunt, anyone can think up of a lightning mage in name, but it's an actual feat in creating a unique character who can provide something exciting to see for all.