User blog comment:GreenMoriyama/Nine, the Magus of Elemancy (collab w-Lesdin)/@comment-4091261-20170913151704/@comment-7709681-20170913154833

Still poses the same problem, she's self-contained, alienated from the rest of the world. The story begins with her and ends with her, no interaction whatsoever beside the new characters introduced in the story. That conveys the sensation that she doesn't belong to the worlds.

Lenghty paragraph don't collaborate either, exhaust the attention spawn of the reader, and as of now stories within the game lore commonly are 7.5 - 15 minutes long, and divided between 1 - 3 lectures. With the amount writen the logical step is that potential readers get intimidated, more when a digital screen from a phone, a tablet, a computer or a laptop already exhaust eyesight.