Thread:Lesdin/@comment-3391671-20160912054757/@comment-27802145-20161003024820

Truly an enticing read. Though I admittedly have a relatively short attention span (or perhaps I'm just more picky as to what I pay attention to), that piece had me captivated till the end, and left me wanting more.

If you would fix up the minor capitalization errors, along with brushing up on some of the more rushed parts of the story, I think it would be good enough to be an official piece as is! It really does portray Nine's capacities as a mage very well, especially with how she uses all the three elements at her disposal in the story (perhaps if you could modify the bit with her negating the ice blast with her signature warding spell, note the passive, it would be stupendous).

I'm loving from what I've been able to gather for her persona so far as well. Her character alignment doesn't seem to neither of the two extremes of lawful good and chaotic evil, which I'm also liking.

As for the knock back, it's supposed to be a more of a self peeling ability. I've made the distance scale per the target's proximity to Nine, so it should signify this aspect, and prevent it from being abused as a massive aoe disruption ability.