User blog comment:Lesdin/Tylane, the Furor of Thousands/@comment-7709681-20160405135948

I don't think that should give another impression about the kit, because I still feel the same for it as expressed to you before publishing (Although I should recommend to eliminate the AP ratio from W's bonus damage), but feel glad that got more simplified than it used to be in realization of what he's meant to do, scrapping the excess.

However, again, try to get rid of flavor text and enriched prose, descriptions are to explain and to showcase your writing skills (Although you may not do so under those intentions).

As for the lore (I cannot criticize the rest of the content because are unrelated to the character itself and rather expand the content of the blog post) I must say that has no character developement: The short bio express who he is, from where he comes and his intentions (despite being as silly as becoming a rockstar, but is an intention still) but gives no explanation to crucial information (His background before his amnesia, why his empire fell, why he has amnesia and the origin of his powers) and the short story is a conversation that ends up in a dream.