User blog comment:Lyndongwapo/Xena, the Vanguard/@comment-3391671-20170604174644

'''TL;DR version: Theme and lore feels ill-constructed. Because of this, her classification as a Marksman/Tank lack a proper foundation. With a kit that also seems to suffer from this, Xena collapses on herself as a CC with possibly unique ideas, but with many faults to be appreciated enough.'''

Just to let you know before I go into critique more that because of how often you do put out concepts, I am a little more willing to be harsh on words. This is because how more frequent releases denotes a message to us readers that either you are finished with your past concepts and are moving on, or are being spontaneous and WIP with them all. Either way, this gives a bad impression especially if your concepts thus far have not be developed well, criticized or not. You have said that you have these ideas floating around, but I will say that it is the same reasoning anyone could give out for their bulk of characters. Thus, I recommend that you work on polishing one batch of characters instead of working partially on so many. Initial release presentation and impressions are important, and to me, your releases may have been unsatisfactory. Eager for sure, but likely premature in what concepts you release.

Onto Xena herself, I will not go into details about her name, as I find that your last handful of concepts have had random names that don't exactly relate to their concept. What I will crticize is title and theme.

Theme & Lore
Thus far, Xena's title is "the Vanguard." Having such a title means that she should at least fulfill what a vanguard (in this case, a legendary vanguard) is purposed to do: be the frontline soldier/s who face the enemies head-on before the rest of their forces. You seem to touch upon the concept fine with spots of "first strike gets the prize," but I believe that this leads to an analysis that you misunderstand what a vanguard is. They don't only attack first, but they are there to take the brunt. They are the braze men keep their enemies at bays as their own allies either aide them later on or flank the enemy. Because of this logic, a Marksman is ill-suited for this job.

Looking back to your other concepts too, you have a tendency to mash up ideas in order to create what is to be thought of as unique. In part, you do fulfill this aim, but in most cases your attempts are so haphazard that it falls apart after careful analysis. Therefore, I recommend that you think more critically of what ideas you conceive. A genuine Marksman-Tank would be interesting, but it has been attempted in exploration by many because, as you may know, the two are usually incompatible in what they are supposed to perform. A ShieldBow sounds like an intriguing idea at first, but even for a fantasy story, it is rather outlandish and impractical.

As for lore, her story has two weak-links: she is entirely reliant on her brother, and because of that, it feels like you had pushed the story to a darker turn in regards to that brother to justify Xena's will to join the Freelance Defender. These are weak-links as they do not develop Xena's character at all; she is entirely shouldered by being empowered by her fantastic brother. The short bio does not help either. It is alright if there is an important character as a part of a champion's story, but you should make sure Xena's story is exemplified more, such as if she had combat training or not. Once again, the plot with having the corrupted/assuming Piltovian government feels rather forced in order to have her brother be captured, along with raising questions if this will also create odd dynamic with related characters such as or. So either develop a better villainy (make it that Zaunite gangs had taken him away), or make her motive different than "my brother is taken hostage, I must save him" as that has become a staple and stale attempt at plot. A champion's story should be something that no other champion (or person) can mimic; as of now, I can easily imagine a random Demacian soldier having the same background.

Kit
Onto the kit, I will see to that I look at Xena solely as the "attack first" kind of champion, and if she fulfills that. On top of that, I will look out for balance in kit, along with uniqueness. I won't consider her a tank, as I feel that is more or less an add-on to create a wow-factor for uniqueness instead of being an innovative addition.


 * Innate - Energy Shock Absorber Shield: First note of criticism: the name is overly generic and does not feel that is solely belongs to Xena. As in, it feels like a title that can be used by any Piltover champion.
 * As for the nature of the ability, a Marksman-main would not (if not 'should not') have a passive that gives them damage resistance or a barrier of any form. A persistent damage resistance is personally proof that you had not thought through a way to make a balanced champion that is perceived as the Marksman-Tank mix, as Marksmen are typically frail damage dealers while Tanks are sturdy CC-inducers.
 * I would like you to look at . The reason is not to blame you for taking an idea from another custom champion, but for you to study how Lesdin had applied the Death God’s damage resistance. If anything, Xena and Adara's passives are uncannily similar, yet the latter is more appealing in both function and description. Its function is gated to certain moments of battle, and the writing is neat and does not contain as much excess writing. One can polish their writing with time, but I recommend that you make even the innate of champions have noticeable windows of power.
 * The idea of "damage absorbed = increased damage effectiveness" is not a good model, especially if there is that "Need to be damaged to get resource, for an ADC" and "at full resource, abilities gain a bonus." The former is self-punishing, and for an ADC, too risky. The latter has been used by some recent CC creators, and in general is not an exciting way to grant bonus effects to abilities when so generalized.
 * Before moving onto the rest of the abilities, I spot "arrow" three times out of the four abilities. I believe I have criticized the names of abilities you have come up with before, so I will only say that the ability names will need review to be more individual, interesting and iconic to Xena.
 * There are yet again instances of missing info, flavour text and terms/phrases that are either not gramatically correct English ("in over" should be "for") or game language ("target lane"). I have mentioned before that one and the other can be an issue in clarity of the ability, so avoid either as much as possible by making sure all details are written, but unnecessary details such as "this ability should be used like this" should be removed. Abilities are for function, not narrative.
 * Q: In concept, Hex-Tech Rocketed Arrow sounds neat in that it is a two part skillshot. However, I believe you should focus on granting these abilities straightforward goals, as I feel that the current set of abilities are not in sync due to being skills that were just assembled by "Rule of Cool" and "Why Not!?" Even with one or two interesting abilities in one kit, the kit cannot be saved from feel lackluster if it does feel unconnected and such.
 * To start off, there are some superfluous elements to this ability. The "dramatical" slowing of the projectile speed does not need to be there, and can have the ability simply send the projectile to the first location, and upon reactivation go to the second, if neither hits an enemy. The has also become over-redundant on explosions, and would rather have the damage buffed instead of adding a CC.
 * Refer to existing abilities with two-activations in one ability. The setence structure of this ability can be easily fixed if you refer to other champions with the same style. If it's not provided, I can understand, but with the wiki at your disposal, it's like saying you cannot find the right word to use when you have a dictionary with you. There is no harm in research the kits of other champions to make better ability descriptions.
 * Lastly, I am not a fan of that mixed scaling ratio. I would recommend having two seperate damage models, where the one hit by the rocket-arrow is dealt base physical damage based on, while in a radius all enemies are dealt the magic damage.
 * No comment on "Overcharge" until I hear your response to my criticism of it above.
 * W: Remove the ability to crit in order to top on a skillshot with bonus magic damage... something doesn't ring with the "Energy Transmitter" title for this ability. It doesn't help her either since for an ADC, this ability is less an ADC tool as they are dependent on hitting the target of their AA without obstruction.
 * Improving range to 1000 is no compensator, and feels more like a forced way to say, "This can be used for kiting." It makes me wonder what this has to do with a bow using Vanguard, and if Vanguard is even considered in this ability.
 * E: Once again, refer to other champions with two activations. However, I believe that it's rather odd to have one champion have more than one twice-activating abilities. It may seem unique when on their own, but it crowds the ability when applied in the same kit.
 * Not that Dash-shields are old, but they are neither new. Also, part of the ability description is lacking, likely due to incorrectly written writing code. Nonetheless, this doesn't feel like something a bowman, moreso a Marksman, should have as it has elements that Fighters would benefit most from (dash + shield + knock aside).
 * At this point, I also see that Xena lacks enough tools to be an effective ADC, with the bow (thus her AA range) becoming like the seeming justification for her classification. The opposite is true for Tank, as her kit lacks the right Tank qualities just as much.
 * R: And a tracking arrow? Is this something about her being a Vanguard, thus the possibility of being a scout? Out of all of the basic abilities, this ult is the one that I believe sticks out like a sore thumb due to its nature not supporting its classification, neither the theme. Currently, her main kit lacks enough damage budget for her to be a Marksman, and lacks defense budgets to be a Tank, and having a utility ult makes one wonder now where her power or defenses are...
 * Surely, the idea of sonar arrows is something not often done (as I have them in one of my own concepts), but it feels ill-placed into this kit.