Thread:Akali/@comment-4736786-20130307173705/@comment-5038450-20130307180126

Everyone assumes I'm the one who left. Everyone assumes I have a self-proclaimed 'cling-ation' as you say.

But no, if you want me to stay, I'll stay, all I ask, is if people would respect my mental instability which is the love I found in fictional characters that I never found in anyone else. I ask for people to understand me first, before moving further. I'm not like other people.

Do I sound like one of those emo-posers who like to say, 'no, I'm not like you sheeple'. Perhaps, but I've had less control of my emotions now, more than ever.

Ultimus? Xunnie? They were like family to me. I loved to see them, everyday. I looked forward to it, every, single, day. All I asked was a litlle respect. But no, they could not deliver. Perhaps they were too young to even understand my condition, who knows.

But did I leave them? Yes, I did. But because they seemed to just enjoy their time with you. They ditched me to play a game with you without telling me one day. There was no warning, no notification. No nothing. They just left me, in a game, alone. And I found them  half an hour later. Playing. With you.

If they were happy enough to leave me, for you, how do I matter to them anymore? I got thrown aside, like a broken toy.

I agree with you, that no one deserves getting chewed at, not from me, not from anyone. But again, I have standards. I only did it because they crossed my line. Do you think I enjoy having tantrums? Do you think it's fun? No. Anger causes pain, which causes more anger, and so on. This message you're giving me doesn't help either.

Also. Friends. What are friends? Everyone speaks of them as the best things to have in the world. I had 'friends', but all they did was use me, hurt me, throw me aside. Like Rainbow. Noone even understands our relationship here, yet everyone treats it as if I fucked up somehow. I don't need 'friends'. I need 'decent people'.

By the way, this is my first chat mod star, and I don't overnight at the cafe anymore. I overnight at home.

And yes, I suppose, more than you think... they just have more important people to them than I am, because I understand priorities.