User blog comment:Manafai/Beatrix - The Coordinator/@comment-3391671-20170118140737/@comment-8556307-20170118175202

Well, this was a read and a half. I just want to touch on the lore aspect before anything else. 80% of the reason I even tried writing one was because it was a prerequisite for the CCOS. I've never actually tried writing a story before and I'm not much of a reader of anything except articles. Basically I have 0 literary skills so I'm really not surprised my lore sounds childish to you. If you have any more direct pointers on good storytelling I'm all for it.

As far as the entirety of the skill descriptions, I didn't know what can be narrowed down into the extra info in the sub-window and what should stay, so I figured it would be best to just give the full mechanical information upfront. I know actual skill descriptions are far more summarized than what I have right now, so I'll try looking into the champions you suggested.

Regarding the abilities themselves, this is probably the 3rd time already only the drones got any real praise while Jorgen and Carlotta got meager response. I'll start looking into possible changes to make them more dynamic and alive.

In general, while I currently like where Beatrix stands, I do recognize there is much work to be done, especially now. I have a lot of ideas I *cough* scrapped while working on Beatrix so I'll take a second look at those and see what I can do.

Honestly, I've always wanted to try making a Lee Sin kind of kit where after the first cast you skill becomes something else, but I couldn't come up with enough things to do so I chose the three I liked the most and went with it. It's likely this deviation is what made Beatrix slightly spiral out of control but once the CCOS judging is over, I'll try my hand at reworking her into something even better. Just the comparison of my current R to Heimerdingers ult combined with the word "toggle" has my gears turning in a new direction.

Thank you for taking (what I assume to be) so much time to give all this input. Like I said, I can't currently change Beatrix due to the CCOS but ideas are brewing and I think I can still make Beatrix even more unique with some of the tips you gave me.