Thread:Tesla Effect/@comment-1990160-20150910123707/@comment-1990160-20150910150605

Successfully "handling criticism" is not the same as "accepting verbal abuse and compromising on every issue".

Criticism can also be phrased without coming across as rude or aggressive; more importantly it should aim to be constructive. I like this post a lot more than the deleted comment, because you've specified what your specific issues are.


 * "because you have been here since for ever that gives you a free card to act as you please" - I'm not sure what you're referring to by "act as you please", and in fact I try to refrain from acting much these days. I have not been here forever, but I do feel more attached to the older styles and forms and I am aware of this. That is, I am basically the conservative on this wiki. Perhaps, you are referring to the champion descriptions project, when I closed down the blog post and directed them to make a forum thread on the topic. Yes, I do not support fluff in general, and I have stated as much more than once, but my reasons as stated, are that a user blog post is not the appropriate forum of discussion for wiki-related issues and it also centers the discussion on a single user (Threads also do this, but not as much imo). I opted for a moderating approach - by moving the topic, it could be rebooted on a more formal platform for discussion, where a different group of users (all logged-in users) would see it as opposed to only the subgroup that who follow user blogs / RecentChanges, and also encourage a more reasoned/formalized consideration of the topic - "here's a project with X, Y, Z benefits and here's how we can/will implement it" as opposed to "Let's do this, people! Everybody write a little paragraph of fluff and then we'll put it on all of the champion pages!"
 * "communicating with people" - I know that I haven't been nearly as active lately as before, but I do check my Talk page and try to follow discussions. Definitely an area for improvement.
 * "not deleting their stuff get salty over somehting" - Special:Log/delete/TehAnonymous I'm sorry, but I don't remember a case of this excepting your recent comment that I deleted, about which I made this post. I am not infallible - certainly I do take offense when others are attacking me - but I try to evaluate whether I would delete something if I had a truly neutral stance.
 * Let's make a comparison. Suppose you wrote a post saying "Good bye LoL Wiki, I never really enjoyed it here, but I've decided to go work on the  wiki now" and I (or another user) responded with "Wow, Tesla, that's great, hopefully they'll finally teach you how to edit properly there." Can you see how other people would be offended and take it personally, aka consider it a "personal attack"? If I see that kind of thing directed at anyone on this wiki, I will remove it, and if I haven't, then please report it to me.
 * "or a editing choice" - Again, I'm not sure what you're referring to. Since you haven't provided a specific example, I'm going to diverge on a rant about a former user... actually, perhaps not. But if you wish, I can relate the story to you (as best I can), how I felt that I was being personally attacked/demonized, why I felt justified in my responses as an administrator though I was not a neutral party in the affair, and how parallels could be drawn here between you and that user.
 * "What I said..." - There's something that I've tried to learn over the years, and they repeated it at Wikia yesterday. It's about understanding how others will read/hear what you have said. You want to deliver your message in a way that does not carry a negative tone - can you expect someone to respond to you 100% in a courteous manner if they feel you are being condescending, unreasonable, patronizing, assigning blame, incoherent, etc.? As a professional, sure, but as just another person across the internets for whom administration is not their job/primary responsibility, I'm not going to prioritize "taking (what I consider) verbal abuse and responding maturely" over "doing my homework due this week" or "getting dinner".
 * As another aside, I'd like for you to read my recent reply to Willbachbakal on my talk page. Here, I try to lay out what Will is saying, how I hear it, where a dissonance exists, why I think that other people hear it similarly to me, and why that's not good.
 * "So please delete my comment, that just proves the point in my favor even more." - Please don't repeat this. It's not logically sound because there are factors other than personal interest / emotion involved in decisions, and it presents yourself as a martyr opposing some sort of regime. Perhaps you want to be martyred, and perhaps you hate me, but you cannot build a working relationship like that, by burning bridges and antagonizing others.

tl;dr Teh believes that his reasoning is still mostly sound, doesn't like to be attacked because no one appreciates that, tries to understand what other people hear when he says stuff, hopes that you don't feel he is trying to oppress you, and as always wants the best for the wiki (though it may disagree with others' views)