User blog comment:Witchking99/Saburra, The Desert Slaughterer/@comment-3391671-20170315045030/@comment-3391671-20170315225006

@Chase: Sadly, in the world, there are parents who are this abusive, and are not caught. "Truth is stranger than fiction" as some would say, since people tend to expect that a more civil society wouldn't have these issues. But no, it can happen.

@Witchking: I like the approach you take, because it is twisted, although at times the cliche "demon child" story. However, as I mentioned, some parts of the story is missing details, causing there to be a disconnect.

One's personality may not be determined at age 7, but a child also has a personality of there own. It may not carry on onto how they are later, but what I ask is for there to be a much more concrete personality for young Saburra. Currently, his 7-year old self is nothing but a puppet for the story, although in-story, he may be a hollow soul from all the abuse.

The rest, as I've said before, is writing experience. All to be developed as you write over time and are criticized for it. Some aspects of the story can be done better, but compared to some of what you have written before, there are also improvements. Keep the work going, my friend.