User blog comment:FelixFortuneForsFortuna/Draco, The Burning Aegis./@comment-3391671-20161119020417

I have to agree to Chase's word that the lore has become better, although still has a way to go. It still needs to make more of Draco seem suited to being king, but let my explanation below do it works.

An interesting character (by my standards at the least) has three critical elements: impression, development and independence.
 * "Impression" comes from first impressions, but can also come from later impressions of the character later on in their story. This is the image they sear into the mind of the reader, one that should be solidified and symbolic. For Draco, how is he "the Burning Aegis"? If he isn't supposed to fit to what is commonly seen under such a title, what demonstrates the roots of that title otherwise? There's much that can be done to do this by words or by image.
 * "Development" is mostly relevant when you take a look between impressions. When writing a story, a character shouldn't be static. Some will be "static," but they are static in the way of personality　but are ever moving in the way of story. For example, Hero A can be the same mighty hero every time you see him, but for every different person he saves, you see a different side to him. This leads to two forms of developments: Inner-discovery and Outer-discovery.
 * Inner-discovery is what most people are used to when thinking of development. It is the inner building of a character, from one state to another. They may go from a coward to a hero, or they might go from being majestic into a psychopath. In weaving a well-written transition from one state to another will not only make sense of their change, but also make good of hooking in the reader.
 * Outer-discovery is present when you, the reader, take on the perspective of a third-person. As mentioned above, the focus character may be static, but your own vision of this character transforms over the course of the story. A writer does well if they are able to persuade a reader to change their impression of the focus character in the intended way. If it's a villain, they should be able to persuade well that the villain is evil. If they are a romantic interest, the writer should do well in developing why the romantic interest is fitting to their suitor.
 * Obvious, you need elements of both, and some writers forget this. These characters are still "human" (even if they are not human; hopefully you get what I mean) in a sense, and will grow on the inside while others create a new impression of them.
 * Last item is "independence," something that is necessary in creating an effective character, not a puppet of a show. Independence refers to a character who is appealing and feels lively instead of being someone scripted, either because story entirely relies on another  or because  blindly follow a regime, thus being filled with some moral error. A character has a life outside the story (hopefully), so make it apparent that they are not simply actors on a stage (unless you are  of course: ).

As for the revised kit in itself, I'll comment at a later time.