User blog comment:Beri98/Marrow - The Bone Mage/@comment-3391671-20170524005324/@comment-3391671-20170525141850

Glad to hear that you like the feedback. I would wish that every concept creator, new or old, receive a reply of this level, especially when they have a fleshed out concept. However, we are not all free on time...

Even if the champion's concept may be old, I would not recommend becoming shrewd about the age. By doing so, it makes it sound like an excuse for the design you have come up with; I too have made the same excuse, but am trying to make the opportunity that an older concept is one that can be improved. If something didn't feel right about the old idea, and nothing innovative has come to mind, I recommend also iceboxing the idea for later use. By iceboxing a concept that isn't baking any bread, hopefully during the hiatus from it will you attain new ideas. Other times, if all else fails, releasing the concept can work too, but make note of it on the blog that you welcome criticism of it. A "mistake" is harsh, but if I were to be blunt, your releases have been similar to launching grenades, not sure if they are duds or not.

Creating a champion that is original and something that you can be proud of is surely "difficult." However, that is why you should take time to cook the concept. Find what Runeterra does not have yet and what could be added. It can be an expansion of one area of the world map, or it can be an entire addition of its own. Just know, for any of us, it's difficult, and we all have been through it. And for those who say it wasn't hard, they are likely underestimating what it means to put work into these concepts.

As for stats, even if you don't know what would be a good balance, you can look up the statistics within the game and weigh which ones Marrow should excel at. Should his be high, or should it be low? Maybe he should have better than a hefty load of. As Marrow's creator, you should tell us readers what you think where Marrow would lie. We can help, but we would like to know your view before enforcing our own.

The issue I find with the train of thought in regards to Vitality is the source of it. 's Fury is a resource that can be described as uninteractive. It may give her healing, but beyond that, it doesn't feel like an incorporate part of her kit. AS for Marrow's Vitality, from the way it works, it can be simplified to being a two-stack mechanic: Every two ability casts, Marrow gets a stack of "Curse," up to two... and the rest is story. As you can see, the resource can be easily deconstructed into two stacks, and that could be a tell-tale sign that the mechanic is not a fulfilling resource. The idea of having a gauge of Vitality sounds nice, but the current iteration shoots down that fantasy.

Comparing Vitality to 's old innate is also a bit of a flawed logic. That innate was a temporal boost. However, in the case of Vitality, it can be held as long as Marrow is in combat (for how long?). This proves to be an enhanced version of 's innate, where the longer he is fighting, the faster he hits; for Marrow, if he can cast enough spells, his spells are more efficient. Personally though, Jax is a champion with an older kit, and referring to such champions is not a good reference point.

Other champions have health costs, but they don't receive an innate boost of base health. Instead their base health starts out high, or their kit has some temporal means of healing. A passive on-kill-heal plus health buffer is neither interactive nor is it intriguing. And if Marrow plays correctly, he shouldn't worry about health if his kit is not flooded with absurd health costs. Basically to say, it is your responsibility to make sure these health costs don't absurdly kill off Marrow, not the summoner's when they are in game.

If you were worried about half-costs entering the decimals, it can be easily solved by making all health costs even. However, I worry why before you had the thought of making the health cost double on hitting an enemy. That is like causing someone to consume more mana just for performing the ability's intended purpose.

Placing health costs on everything could be changed. As in, place them only where they are due. Some champions work with all their abilities having a cost, but does this help Marrow and the summoner's decision making when casting abilities, or is it only hampering them in any situation. "Agh, even though this ability doesn't do much, I need to spend health! Why!?" This suggestion may not be necessary, but when making concepts, ability costs are also part of the design.

When creating a champion, more is better than less in the sense of describing an ability. I myself may criticize people for posting "walls of text" thus creating burden of knowledge, but it's better for us critics to know more than less. Without enough, all we can do is assume either that is all, thus not know enough about the abilities or make our own thoughts of what more could be there, leading to mislead thoughts. You are the presenter, so make sure the show is fulfilling.

Changing E's cooldown to be on-target than charge based would not directly nerf it in its entirety. It would shift its power from being a strong dualing tool with two charges, or a laning tool in deleting minions.

Thus far, I find it that the reason why Marrow is not coming together... is because you haven't used any actual "bones" in his kit. Even "Boneyard" is simply a field of cursed grounds and can be replaced with a simple graveyard. From the use of the terms such as Marrow or Vitality, I feel at the moment, Marrow is more like a blood mage. That is likely where you missed the mark in representing a bone mage.

As for English, no worries on grammer and all. It is all legible and readible. :3