User blog comment:ViciousWombat/Phobos/@comment-3391671-20170118223125/@comment-7852319-20170120175808

Thank you for the criticism, much needed. I havent created a champion in a long time, and wanted to try again.

I do need to work on the kit a lot more, that very true.

Abilities
Passive - yeah the passive is bland, i need it more it mroe interesting and more along the lines of some crazed religious lunatic.

Q - i did have sion's Q and camilles W in my mind when i wanted to make it, but after reading what you said, it is a bit over the top. The idea was, that the war hammer part would actually cause the stun to happen, while being hit by the shaft of the weapon would provide a slow. But its probbaly a broken mechanic that doesnt really suit him.

W - The idea, was it to be a mixture of a Caitlyn Q and a Jarvan_IV E. The idea was that after throwing his sister he wanted to get her back immediatley because he doesnt want to lose her again, so he gained increased ms and attack speed to get his sister again. I thought i said the duration was 5 seconds, but i guess i forgot it, and it had a similair affect to Garen's E, where if he picked her back up, it would refund the reamining cooldown.

E - I chose this E, because i played smite a long time ago, and like the god Hercules, where one of his basic abilities was this, but it probbaly is too broken, healing him for mroe than what a mundo ulti would do. I also chose thise because it was an interesting mechanic to make him tanky, since a lot of tank champions have some sort of shield, or heal, or lifesteal in their kit.

R - The ulti was suppose to act as a sort of boomerrang, kind of looking like Hammer Gorem's weapon from Bakugan when he would trhow it for his attacks. The idea was that Phobos could throw the weapon outwards, where it would deal damage to all champions, and whoever was the last one touched by the hammer would then be brought into Phobos, like a Blitzcrank Q.

I thought i was able to articulate the abilities, but it seems i probably have to scrap a lot of them, except the W, i really enjoy that ability on him. I also might change his secondary bar from mana to Fury or something else of that nature.

Lore
Firstly, I would just like to say I am sorry for having you read through that whole thing. I have never been a strong writer but I like to write. If there is anything specific about the story I could devulge further into and descrbie please let me know, so i can make this champion as best as I can.

My idea for Phobos in his sotry was for him to have an older sister that helped "train" and raise him within the cult. Phobos and Aretha were my idea of having an older sibling be amazing at everything, while the younger brother is weak in nature. I could have Aretha die earlier in the story, but i do want her spirit to be in the hammer. These kids were raised to me great warriors in Mordekaisers army, and to kill without remorse, but I didn't show that at all, I just showed them being scared little brats.

Lastly I didn't type it in, but the line where Aretha says to Phobos when did you become a murderer, was actually supoose to be a snarky like comment, where Aretha was now happy that Phobos had fully integrated himself into the cult, instead of being on the fence. Aretha wanted both of them to die under Mordekaiser, so that they could both fight and kill people to bring them into Mordekaiser's order.

Ending Thoughts
I will be looking more closely at this to really try and bring the lore and mechanics together, keeping the main parts:

Enraged Zealot - Soul Weapon - Fear transforming into Anger (since Phobos means fear)