User blog comment:BoltOfSpades/Majorka, Priestess of the Earth/@comment-27859592-20170102041717/@comment-3391671-20170102130144

And you have beaten me to the punch, Clay. Well done (dammit, I was on a roll~).

Now, as for a review of the concept, the kit and lore don't seem bad in the sense that they provide what is necessary. But my gripe would be the theme, along with the storytelling.

In regards to theme, the title is misleading, as "Earth" can be either "Mother Earth" or "the ground." I do not know the percentage of which people think of first the most, but at least in my case, I was expecting another, except one who is a support, because of the title of "priestess." But, the issue comes in the fact that Majorka covers too many elements. Yes, having "the force of nature" at one's steed is not exactly embedded in any one champion, but it creates a rather weak concept to appreciate. This is most due in part to how existing champions already have aspects of Majorka, such as the different elements. I can see this champion work, but I know it won't be much appreciate outside the aesthetic of having a "Priestess of Mother Earth."

I do not mean to insult you with my following words, but I find your storytelling abilities to be lacking. The main issues comes with continuity and the depth in story. You do not have a problem of connecting story pieces to story pieces, but the issue comes in the fact that each scene feels detached, being choppy in nature. For example, you have Majorka become negatively affected by the Geomancer Order, "becoming less faithful to the code of honor." Yet, she wanders for a time doing good deeds. Then she returns to the Order where she was "never to return." This lack of emotional continuity leads into my other issue, which is the depth in the story. Due to the imbalanced continuity, I cannot find connectivity with the characters. She was entirely depressed upon finding the order wiped out, and is brought out of it by the act of people getting interested in the art of Geomancy. This creates a shallow character, or one who seems to be puppeteered by the writer. Other champions have this issue, either on purpose or unintentionally.

One question that came to mind was as to why the Geomancers, wielders of such powers, are in the most corrupt city of Zaun!? was a city completely polluted by the science it tried to make; it was the contrast to the "good science" of Piltover. And you have the Order stationed there... I can only reason that you did this to justify the corruption that would lead the Geomancers to their grave. However, as I pointed out, it wouldn't make much sense for them to be in a city that treats nature as a lab rat to their experiments. Yes, their powers may be able to stop Zaun from destroying all nature, but you don't plop them in the middle of the city, unless they are supposed to be bound slaves to some fat Zaunite richman... and even that kind of lore is hideous & overly done in my opinion.