User blog comment:Lesdin/Darssan, the Inciter/@comment-7709681-20160223140120

Well, if I must admit something good from the very beginning, is that for a first attempt, and even CCs in general, is one of the best designed presentations, I admire that. However, a problem that I see across the concept is convoluted redaction (it's explained later on in the text).

Abilities
As for the kit, must begin first by saying that the descriptions make redundancies in their explanations wish diminishes interest of lecture, lecture should be simplified the most possible for better understanding.

For abilities, most of what the kit provides is utility, and I'm more than sure is because it had to lack on damage to compensate for Carve the Soul, but even then is too much utility: Guaranteed crits, spammable CC, a hyper-scaling shield (like Tahm Kench), %health restoration (that further increases with the main statistic to build) and a greatly increasing, stacking bonus MS.

As for offense, even if the only reliable sources of damage are Q and bonus damage provided from crits. (that, since it's composed entirely of current health, has diminished power), having a true damage nuke with CC isn't healthy, both by the nature of the damage itself as how difficult is for the concept himself to applied as for the lack of reliable damage; however, this latter statement is eventually overcomed into late-game, which eliminates the only gating the ability has.

In fact, thanks to how the kit scales, you can go really tanky, even build as a juggernaut, and still deal as much damage as an assassin, since all scales with total AD, % health and Tarnished Heart.

Character
Must clarify first that, thanks to you note at the beginning of the post that states that this is based in a character from another game, I could understand the nature of the lore... as the lore itself says nothing about the character.

Allow me to explain: The lore says nothing (despite being well written) other than the possible nature of a curse and that our character died, but you left two links that showcase your basis for the character (mostly the second, which is the one of the game it came), but the problem is that, since you make it interact with LoL's universe, I cannot consider those, it has to stand by himself within LoL and not the narrative from somewhere else, hence my critique.

Otherwise the quotes are really good despite lacking individual character (as of the explained above).