User blog comment:Double Slap/Zara, The Cryptic King/@comment-3391671-20170905093713/@comment-4091261-20170905135200

Thanks for the input! Fortunately I am fairly patient, I was willing to wait a year to be honest. xD

Pacing... Ah I've had hell with that. When I make dialogue with multiple individuals, the length extends dramatically. It's actually the main reason why I omitted "{insert name here} said" and "asked {insert name here}" at times. I was struggling with the value of the controlling the mood and controlling the pace, because when omitting these things, it flows more naturally like a conversation if read aloud.

However, this was before I ever thought of a theme for chapters. As of now, I let the titles create the theme for each chapter. However, I am aware this alone is not nearly enough. Proof of that is why people go deep into exposition in the first place. I can definitely see how the change can be abrupt, like from chapter 2 to chapter 3.
 * I have an idea now that I'm looking in hindsight, I could just make that divider in chapter 3 a whole separate chapter. The setting completely changes, the mood takes a sharp turn, and it would divide the size to make pacing better.

My particular usage of perspective here was intended to encapsulate who is having a paradigm shift. In chapter 4, Forged from Sand and Runes, I had two paradigm shifts occurring in the same chapter.
 * 1) Zara realizing that the things he gleaned from the scrolls and tomes in the mountain library and the desires of the ghosts of Shurima meant a fundamental understanding of what a World Rune is.
 * 2) Ryze's realization that Zara is a true hero of the Runic Arts, so he needed to put all his faith in him by fostering his potential.

I agree with your sentiments. There is a very important reason why I am steering clear from the usage of third-person point of view. It deals with what is to come in the epilogue. This story is divided into three arcs. Everything read so far is the first arc, from beginning to end. This is intended to serve as foundation and to develop Zara as an overall happy and zealous character.

The second arc is intended to plummet Zara's happiness to reveal the vengeful part of him by introducing an element of uncertainty. It is in this arc that third-person will be used the most. I will not dive into his thoughts until he has a paradigm shift in personality with the third arc.

Foreshadowing is very important. I dedicated chapters 1, 2, and 5 as complete foreshadowing chapters for what is to come. Although lot of what I've done is foreshadowing, I guess I didn't foreshadow enough. The biggest Deus ex Machina must be from chapter 4, Forged from Sand and Runes.

I think the issue here was that in writing chapter 3, Runic Redux, I was too engrossed in creating the emotional outburst that I forgot to foreshadow what would occur soon after. Perhaps when I divide chapter 3, I'll be more comfortable explaining what Zara read in the scrolls and tomes. Looking at the potential DeM, it all stems on Zara's knowledge of the Runic Arts from the prophet--which is an incredibly important plot point.

I know what you mean by. I'd say a large part of it is that he doesn't act like. The other parts are that he is getting along way too easily with Zara given how terrifying his power is and that the meeting was coincidental.

The reason why isn't acting like normal is because Zara caught him at a weak point, doubting his choices in life. holds back a lot of his humanity for the sake of duty. So, I used jolly-old Zara here to open up the human side of, a side he's always wanted to show but never could.

However not only fits the theme, but also the origin. This is implied because the end of chapter 7 is the result of some foreshadowing in chapter 1, and knew the prophet's name it just took time for him to connect the dots. is here because he defines who Zara is, serves as a tool to show where his kingdom originated, and most importantly connects Zara to the prophet.

Woop woop woop~! I got work to do. ~(*~* )~ I always knew something wasn't quite right with the story, so thanks for giving me pointers. I'll be splitting up chapter 3, Runic Redux, and adding more foreshadowing details on the tomes and scrolls for the grand event to occur in the following chapter, Forged from Sand and Runes. I'll have to revisit the dialogue from a reader's perspective to see if I can ground certain emotions I want to convey. Then, I can finally get to posting the next chapter.